A Different Kind of New Year's Resolution

It's New Year's Eve so I thought I would share my New Year's resolution list. I don't normally create such lists (although I definitely tried when I was younger) but I thought to do it this year albeit a little differently.

I'm an avid reader but I unfortunately no longer have the luxury of time that once permitted me to read as much as I used to. However, I want that to change and, with that said, here's a list of books that I will read this year.

1. 'The Political Economy of Permanent Crises in the Philippines' by Walden Bello



2. 'The Great Transformation' by Karl Polanyi



3. 'Infidel' by Ayaan Hirsi Al



4. 'The Caged Virgin: An Emancipation Proclamation for Women and Islam' by Ayaan Hirsi Al



5. 'One Hundred Years of Solitude' by Gabriel Garcia Marquez



6. 'A Clockwork Orange' by Anthony Burgess



7. 'The Lost Executioner: A Story of the Khmer Rouge' by Nic Dunlop



8. And the latest book and first novel of Loung Ung, which we had the opportunity of hearing about firsthand, if it is published in 2008.

It's a list of books that I've been promising myself for the longest time to read, and it's by no means a static list. I will obviously be reading more books for my academic classes, one of which--Gender in Asia--has an impressive and interesting reading list. I will also read books that are recommended to me and strike my fancy on top of that. Overall, I do aspire to read a wide variety of books.

There is one "traditional" resolution that I would like to make and, more importantly, keep is: expect nothing but the best intentions from those whom I know. When things aren't going my way or I don't know how things are going to turn out I often have the tendency to expect the worst so that the outcome won't be so horrible. I've come to realize that one's expectations are often just self-fulfilling prophecies; if I expect the worst then it will happen and if I'm optimistic then good things will come my way.

Happy New Year to you!

EDIT (13 January, '08, around 6am):
- This blog entry is now a part of RBJ's January 2008 Collaboration even though I wrote this in December...
- The Economist has been added to my reading list because I subscribed to it last week.

He Will Be Loved

Where do I begin? Well, even I don’t know… So I’m going to let it all out here.

We’re going to be apart for some nine months. He was originally to study abroad but now he’s studying at another school on the exact opposite side of the country for the upcoming semester due to a change in plans. We’ll be able to contact each other more easily, however, I’m not quite sure if that’s such a good thing. If he's abroad then I’d have a reason for not hearing from him because of unreliable communication access but if we’re in the same country (with a cellphone whose number I’ve dialed so many times from heart) then I’d just be wondering, ‘Why isn’t he picking up?,’ ‘Why isn’t he calling me back?,’ and so on.

He’s made me feel like our history and love for one another should ease our transition back together no matter what happens while we’re apart. In a way, that is how I feel. There’s this part of me that will always wait to be with him regardless of how distance and time separates us and that anything between now and then will be something insignificant with a, well, baxter. Nevertheless, it’s a feeling that I don’t want taken advantage of.

Regardless, we’re on a “break.” Perhaps that’s all I need to tell myself, but, what exactly does a ‘break’ insinuate? He’s said it’s simply a nicer way of saying a couple has broken up amicably yet he’s also suggested otherwise regarding our specific circumstance.

I just don’t want the awkwardness and the indefinite wait. I love him, but, I don’t want to awkwardly wonder if it’s still appropriate to say those words to him because I don’t want it to mean anything less for either of us when I say it next. I love him, but, I don’t want to be his fall back after dreadfully anticipating for the band aid to be torn off. I like certainty when it comes to the sensitive matters of the heart especially when my heart is dangling by a thread off my sleeve.

I won’t talk to him about this. Besides, I know he’d rather not discuss this, he won’t mind if I see other people, and he’s always ready for a break. There really isn’t anything I can do. After all, I do understand that it’s unrealistic to stay together when you don’t know when you’re going to next see each other again and that it’s better to just go with whatever feels right. I suppose it’s his often nonchalant attitude that has helped me come to terms with that. However, knowing myself I'll be on a defensive mode; I'll probably only put in as much effort as him in fear of looking like a lovesick fool.

None of it makes me love him any less because it ironically just makes me want to be with him even more. (And I feel oh so vulnerable just saying that). So, for now, I'm just going with the flow and enjoy it.

Evil Eye

I thought I would share this cute and creepy video with you all.

Enjoy!

Baby Gives The Evil Eye
I cannot wait until I have my own baby to play with. Actually, I can... I would much rather have a puppy right now.

Wrapping Up Christmas

It's the day after Christmas (where I am)! And I finally got some much needed sleep because I was so tired at the end of yesterday when all I did was eat. Okay, I did more than that and I was also probably tired because of jetlag.

A recap of my Christmas...

My Christmas started with noche buena--opening presents and eating food at midnight. I tried to stay up until midnight but I fell asleep at around 9pm because, as usual, I was extremely sleepy from jet lag. I wasn't alone though because my sisters fell asleep too but at around midnightwe were all woken up by our giddy mother hugging, kissing, and greeting us all a 'Merry Christmas.'

After noche buena, I went back to sleep, woke up some seven hours later for breakfast, and went back to sleep again until I had to get ready for church. It was my first time attending mass since I left the Philippines this summer and God must work in mysterious ways because I, once again, got dragged into volunteering for the church service. Oh well.

The early part of the afternoon was spent having lunch with the rest of the extended paternal family clan. It was noisy and chaotic but there was plenty of delicious food. My favourite dish was perhaps the petchon--lechon wrapped up a la Peking duck--and instead of the traditional Peking duck sauce I had Mang Tomas... Mmm. Haha. When things were beginning to wind down someone said that they were going to a carnival beside Mall of Asia and, somehow, everyone decided to tag along.

That was what we tried to do for the latter part of the afternoon but we decided against going to the carnival when arrived because it looked rather lame and it was overflowing with people. We went to the mall itself instead (which wasn't any better because it seemed like the rest of Manila decided to go there as well) where my younger cousins could go play in this kiddie activity center. Mall of Asia was so packed that it made this past Thanksgiving's Black Friday feel empty and sane.

When it was time to head back home, craziness ensued because two of my young cousins got into a sibling rivalry. It's a long story that I don't want to get into but the entire time I was "Hay nako... I wish people would stop staring at us." As a result of the time drawn out from this petty fight, however, we managed to catch the fireworks display overlooking the Manila bay. It was nice and alleviated the earlier tension.

We eventually made it back home where we all had more food because it was dinner time. (Unfortunately, we were out of petchon but there was crispy noodles.) I hung around for a bit with my cousins but I soon went back just to sleep.

...And, well, those were the highlights of my Christmas day summed up!

It's Christmas Eve...

Merry Christmas!!!

Five Things

Manny tagged me several weeks back but I kept putting it off (and eventually forgot about it until today) because of school work.

Five Things Found In My Bag
(I just spent a day travelling across the Pacific so that should explain some of the contents in my bag)

1. Passport
2. Boarding passes
3. A thick Sudoku book
4. iPod
5. Camera

Five Things Found In My Wallet

1. I.D.s -- Oregon and the Philippines
2. Money, money, money in several currencies
3. A small postcard containing several important numbers
4. Receipts
5. Various cards (e.g., P.A.D.I. dive card, mileage cards, store cards, etc.)

Five Things Found In My Room
(This is my room back in Oregon since I do not really have anything here in Manila)

1. A red shag/carpet
2. A green and gold Thai triangle pillow
3. Posters of beaches
4. A shell wall-display
5. Little trinkets from all over the world

Five Things I Have Always Wanted To Do

1. Sky dive
2. Sing (well) in front of an audience. Unfortunately, I cannot sing.
3. Dance in the rain
4. Make Dean's List
5. Act in a play

Five Things I Am Currently Into

1. Stargate SG-1 and Stargate Atlantis
2. Blogging
3. Baking... Mostly cookies
4. Minesweeper
5. Wrapping presents

Christmas Shopping, Cellphones, and Cigarettes

This time tomorrow I am going to be on an airplane flying home and I am somewhat excited. I am not finished packing but everything is dumped inside my suitcase (with plenty of space left to spare) just waiting to be "organized." Today is basically dedicated to lounging around and enjoying the empty apartment by myself... So... I have plenty of time.

I had my last exam yesterday and Calculus basically butt raped me. Oh well. At least it is all over. And it was all made just a tiny bit better afterwards because I went Christmas shopping for myself and for my family. I bought myself an iPod classic; I lost my iPod video at the start of the summer and it took me this long to get around to buying one. And I bought a variety of things for my family.

On a slightly different note, while I was out shopping I noticed how dependent people are on cellphones and cigarettes. On my way to the mall, everyone around me on the light rail was either busy calling or texting away. It was rather anti-social and depressing. Then, while I was waiting for the shuttle to go back to campus, everyone around me was smoking--no matter how hard I tried to avoid smokers their second-hand smoke just seemed to follow me around. Now that was more "sociable" but equally depressing.

*Shrugs*

One Left Standing

It seems rather eerie that the best--the hardest--is left for last. I am talking about my last examination for the semester: MATH 131 Calculus 1. (Okay, it really is not the best... Just the hardest). After that though I am on a flight back to my home town where I assure you I will post interesting and non-academia entries. 'Til then, wish me the best of luck because I am definitely going to need it.

Exams, Papers, Exams... It's That Time of the Semester Again

Today was the first time in a while that I ventured out of the bubble that is my room and the coffee shop across my apartment (and sometimes extends to my boyfriend's dorm)... And it was turn in a final paper for Radical Political Economics and write my East Asian Art History: China examination. Unfortunately, all is not over just yet because I still have to edit my Economic Development final paper and take my Calculus 1 exam.

However, I think I have done pretty darn well in allocating and managing my time (even though I have watched a lot of Stargate SG-1 episodes) for the end of the semester. I finished several drafts for the two aforementioned final papers way ahead of its due date while studying for both Art History and Calculus. A lot of my classmates normally put off the work for a specific class until the day (or night, to be exact) before the exam for that class.

Now I just need to pull myself away from the computer and maybe watch another episode of either Stargate SG-1 or Stargate Atlantis because I just got out of my Art History exam and I am in no mood to start editing my Economic Development paper. As for Stargate, I just wanted to let you all know that I am officially hooked. All thanks to my boyfriend who introduced it to me at the most inappropriate moment... A few days before finals. Blah.

A Christmas Meme!

RBJ December 2007 Collaboration

5 - Name 5 favorite Christmas songs?

I do not really have "favourite" Christmas songs but here are five Christmas songs that I "like."

• 'Silent Night'--one of the very first songs I learned to play on the guitar when I was eight.
• 'Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire.' Ever since I can remember my grandma always buys chestnuts during Christmas and opens it for me, my sisters, and my cousins.
  
• 'Pasko Na.' (I think this is the name of the song).
  
• 'Jingle Bell Rock.' I have such cute memories of singing this upbeat song in choir.
  
• 'We Don't Have a White Christmas.' A beautiful song written by someone in my choir. Most of the people in my choir are from countries that do snow but "the feeling is still the same" during Christmas (just in case you did not get it that quotation is from the song). Actually, if I had to pick a favourite Christmas song this would be the one.
  

4 - Name 4 gifts you plan to buy for others.

• Baking utensils for my mom because she loves to bake but always complains about how she needs this and that.
  
• A watch for one of my sisters.
• A (rain?) jacket for my other sister.
• A DVD collection of some sort (maybe SG-1?) for my boyfriend. Maybe... If they can get their packaging issues sorted out.
  

3 - Name 3 things you would like for Christmas.

• Lots of fancy, dangly earrings!
• The opportunity to go scuba diving at least once this Christmas...
  
• A Chinese teapot set, which has already been given to me :).
  

2 - What 2 places do you plan to be during Christmas?

• Manila.
• In the ocean... Scuba diving...
  

1 - What is 1 important person, place, or thing you love about Christmas?

• Wrapping presents.
  

San Francisco

I just received a letter saying that I have been accepted to lead an HIV/AIDS Alternative Spring Break trip to San Francisco. So unlike thousands of college kids who will be spending their Spring Break getting crunk, I will be spending mine by doing community outreach and leadership in the area of HIV/AIDS.

San Francisco... Here I come!

The Tin Man Needs a Heart

Tin Man is a three-part T.V. series that I was looking forward to because the publicity had played it up very well. The twist in the traditional Wizard of Oz intrigued me and the rather well-known cast line-up impressed me. So, of course, I watched it a few hours ago and neither were disappointing... Except for Dorothy, or DG as she is referred to in the series, because she simply cannot act.

Casting Zooey Deschanel was a bad idea. And Alan Cumming and Neal McDonagh are too good for this... For her, rather.

This is all really disappointing because I really do like what (little) I saw of the story. I tuned out after an hour and decided to watch Brothers & Sisters instead; however, I will probably watch it again next week with a bit of hope...